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Preamble:  This is a paper I wrote in 1999 for a course I took at ACTS at Trinity Western University in a Masters of Counseling program (Theology 648).  The notion of people having been made in the image of God as taking pre-eminence over the theology of total depravity was a turning point for me.  It has made a big difference in the way I view people and deal with them.

 Thesis Statement

The Imago Dei is central to a Christian theory of personality; because of it the Christian counselor is obligated to treat all clients with respect, and the mandate of the counselor is to guide her clients towards the restoration of their Imago Dei.

Index

1. On a Christian Humanism
2. What Do We Have in Common With God?
3. Man and Woman are Both in God’s Image
4. A Reason not to Kill
5. Jesus, the Perfect Imago Dei
6. The Importance of the Gospel to Counseling Clients
7. On Freedom of Choice
8. Sanctification
9. Human Relationships
10. Depravity
11. Hope in the Future
12. The Path to Healing

 

1  On a Christian Humanism

The Imago Dei, the image of God in the human being, is a mysterious concept.  The Bible tells us that God created us in His image (Genesis 1:26-28).  Yet apparently God is three persons in one, according to the doctrine of the Trinity.  He said, “Let us create man in our image.”  If we are indeed created in the image of God, then this must be of central importance t counseling theory and practice.  It would be integral to a theory of personality, and to the way we as counselors treat our clients.  According to J. I. Packer, “It is part of the glory of the gospel to be the one genuine humanism that the world has seen” (Knowing Man, p.11).

Packer sees humanism as (P. 11-12):

A quest for full realization of the possibilities of our humanity.  we see ourselves as less satisfied, less fulfilled less developed, less fully expressed, than we might be; we have not yet tasted all that could enrich us, nor yet made the most of relationships with others, nor yet enjoyed all that is there to be enjoyed, nor yet fully harnessed the powers of the physical world as instruments of our freedom; and we long to enter further into what we see as our human heritage.  In this sense we are all humanists; our natural self-love, which God implanted in us, makes us so.  You would have to say of anyone who had ceased to look for personal enrichment in any of these ways ( as alas, broken folk sometimes do) that he or she was hereby lapsing from one dimension of humanness, as if to contract out of the human race.

He thinks of non-Christian humanism as “brutism or animalism” (p. 13).  That is because they (p. 13):

tell us to turn our backs on God as Christians know him, to give up that ideal of the good life which the Bible and the Christian past bequeath to us, and to start ‘doing our own thing’ without regard for any authority save the imperious promptings of our own hearts.  …I conceive that anyone who turns his back on God and God’s revealed will for us forfeits a dimension of human dignity and settles for a way of life which in this respect befits the lower animals, but does not match the nature and potential of man at all.

2  What do We Have in Common with God?

There is so much that we don’t know about God, even those religious people who have studied about Him for many many years.  And likewise psychologists who have studied personality for many many years still disagree about the basics.  However those of us who have put our trust in God, and in the Bible as His Holy Word to us, can see some basic premises in this regard.

First, we have in common with God the responsibility of dominion.  God is the Creator and ultimate Sustainer of the earth.  However human beings have been given charge of it.

Second, we have a social nature.  We need each other.  If people are alone all the time we think something is wrong.  As God has fellowship within the Trinity, we have fellowship within our families, and with our friends.  There is a sense in which we are part of each other.  We can feel this when someone who means a lot to us moves away or dies, and is removed from our lives.  We long for a time when we will be reunited.  Thankfully we have the hope of heaven, where all barriers between people will be removed.

Third, we have personhood, which carries with it responsibility.  God the Father, the Holy Spirit, and Jesus each have their own roles in the Godhead.  Just so, we have our own personality gifts and roles to play in the human race.

Fourth, God told us to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth (Genesis 1:28).  In other words He blessed our sexuality, which He created.  This tells us something about God.  He obviously has a sensuous nature as well.

And fifth, “God saw all that He had made, and it was very good” (Genesis 1:31).  He took pleasure in HIs work, and so must we.  After working hard to accomplish our goals, it is very satisfying to look back on our accomplishments with pleasure and pride.  Not a bragging, puffed up pride that puts a chasm between ourselves and others, but a good feeling that we have done something well, and a gladness for a dream fulfilled.

3  Man and Woman are both in God’s Image

Man and woman together are the image of God.  …human’s having been created male and female is an essential aspect of the image of God.  Karl Barth lays great stress on this point: man’s existence as male and female is not something secondary to the image, but is at the very heart of the image of God.  This is so not just because of the difference in sex between man and woman–since this distinction is found also among the animals–but because of far-reaching differences in personality between the two.  Man’s existence as male and female means that man as a masculine being has been created for partnership with another being who is essentially like him but yet mysteriously unlike him.  It means that woman is the completion of man’s own humanity, and that man is wholly himself only in his relationship with woman (Hoekema, P. 97).

So, as counselors, we must never allow our clients to belittle the other sex, but remind them that God made both in His image, and that although male and female are so different in many ways, we do need each other, and our differences were meant to complement each other.

4  A Reason not to Kill

The reason we are not to kill one another is because we are made in the image of God (Genesis 9:6).  Think of the implications of this in regards to abortion, or euthanasia, or even simply hatred.  How many times have we wished someone we dislike would just die.  And yet these people bear the image of God.  What a mandate for Christian counselors, to help people see this, and to help people be restored to greater God-likeness.  To help people redirect the energy from their hatred into restoring the image of God in each other.  Not that we can manipulate each other into being better Christians, but we can put time and energy into praying for each other, and doing good to each other, and considering the best paths to take for each other’s sakes.

James 3:9-10 says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing.  My brothers, this should not be.”  And yet we see that God also in a sense curses people.  Think of the great flood.  And of the destruction predicted in the book of Revelation.  And in many other prophecies in the Bible.  Some of them have been fulfilled already.  Many innocent die along with the wicked.  What can we say?  Is there a time for cursing?  But our general principle should be to remember God’s image in one another, and respect everyone for that reason.

5  Jesus, the Perfect Imago Dei

The clearest, most perfect image of God can be seen in the man Christ Jesus (II Corinthians 4:4-6).  This is very interesting, especially since Jesus was born into a poor family, and lived a very humble life.  As Isaiah 53 prophesied about Him:

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.  He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering…  But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

This is not the kingly image that we would expect of God.  And considering the fierce God of the Old Testament, it seems to be the opposite.  However, even in the Old Testament God exercised extreme patience with people.  Also His goodness is evident to all who open their eyes and look around at creation and the laws of nature.

What must therefore be at the centre of the image of God is not characteristics like the ability to reason or the ability to make decisions (important as such abilities may be for the proper functioning of the Image of God), but rather that which was central in the life of Christ: love for God and love for man.  If it is true that Christ perfectly images God, then the heart of the image of God must be love, for no man ever loved as Christ loved (Hoekema, Created in God’s Image, p. 22).

That Jesus is one with the Father is evident from Colossians 1:15-20:

He is the image of the invisible God… by Him all things were created…  God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through His blood shed on the cross.

6  The Importance of the Gospel to Counseling Clients

If this is true, then it must be central to counseling theory and practice.  Although the various schools of psychology such as behaviourism, cognitive therapy, gestalt etc., have contributed a lot to helping people, compared to the healing power of the gospel, they are Band-Aid solutions.  I don’t discount them at all, but I think that the most important general principle behind Christian psychology is to use whatever methods one chooses with the goal in mind of restoring people to the image of God.  I am not saying that we should shove the gospel down our clients’ throats.  We don’t need to see their salvation, but we ought to help them along the way.  It doesn’t mean we must mention God to every client, but we do need to remember that we all as Christians are entrusted with the mandate of sharing the gospel (Matthew 28:19-20).  As Christian counselors we do also need to bear in mind the place of sin in our clients’ problems.  As Anderson says (On Being Human: Essays in Theological Anthropology, p. 99):

Karl Menninger, another practicing psychotherapist, echoes Mowrer’s opinion, sin is the only hopeful view.  The present world miasma and depression are partly the result of our self-induced conviction that since sin has ceased to be, only the neurotics need to be treated and criminals punished.

The concept of sin as a “hopeful’ perspective in treating people who suffer personality disturbances is significant.  Certainly accounting for personality disturbances as expressions of sin must be done with great caution.  But the point both Mowrer and Menninger make is that the nature of the disorder may be such that a more radical confrontation with the very being of the person is required before true “order” can be restored.  The possibility of this confrontation actually occurring and resulting in a restoration of personal existence under a proper order emerges only out of a theological anthropology.  And such a possibility is implied by the actuality of personal being existing in a true order determined by the divine Word of God, experienced as the image and likeness of God in co-humanity.

7  On Freedom of Choice

Hoekema stresses the capability of people to make choices (p. 229):

Needless to say, the ability to make choices is a most important capacity.  It is basic to human existence.  Apart from it, there can be no education, no religion, and no worship…  Unfortunately, however, certain scientific understandings of human nature in our day deny that man has the ability to choose.  An example of this is modern psychological behaviorisms, especially as exemplified by B. P. Skinner.  In his books, Beyond Freedom and Dignity and About Behaviorism, Skinner defends the position of environmental determinism.  All human behavior, he claims, is completely controlled by genetic and environmental factors.  All human “choices” are determined by previous physical causes.  To say that the human being is “free” to act as he “wills” is a myth, says Skinner; mans conduct is totally determined by his environment.  This view implies, however, that human beings have no responsibility for the decisions they make, and that man really has neither freedom nor dignity.

We may not be so totally a product of our environment as Skinner said, but before salvation, we are in essence slaves to sin.  Minirth and Meier (Counseling and the Nature of Man, p. 10) say that:

The counselor who recognizes that man is by nature depraved knows that attempts at “self-actualization” will ultimately fail.  That is, man in himself has neither the capability nor the goodness necessary to solve his own problems and overcome the evil within him.  The Christian counselor agrees with Jeremiah’s assessment that “the heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).  The mind is dishonest and tricky.  Man employs various defense mechanisms in efforts to avoid taking an honest look at himself.

8  Sanctification

Sanctification is the process of rediscovery of God’s image in us.  It involves an effort on our part.  Ephesians 5 tells us to, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”  It gives us a list: to live moral lives, not to be greedy, not to be deceived, to find out what pleases the Lord, to expose unrighteousness, not to be foolish, not to get drunk, instead to be filled with the Spirit, to sing and make music, to always give thanks, an to submit to one another.  If we all lived this way, I think we would have very few psychological problems in the world.  But we are all sinners, falling far short of these ideals.  We need to constantly make an effort to be imitators of Christ, and keep reading our Bibles to remind ourselves of the way God wants life to be.

Colossians 3:9-10 says, “…you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”  Ephesians 4:22-23 expands on this, telling us to be made new in the attitude of our minds, putting on our new selves, created to be like God in resolving our anger quickly, not stealing, being careful what we say, getting rid of bitterness rage and anger, slander and malice, being kind and compassionate and forgiving.  In western culture we take for granted that we should live in these ways (even though we don’t completely), but in many cultures these things are not even expected at all.  Cross-cultural counselors must bear this in mind.

God is rational, righteous, has perfect fellowship within the Trinity, has sovereignty, loves beauty, is expressive, and loving.  Human beings have rationality, moral sensitivity, capacity for worship, volitional power, aesthetic sense, are communicative, and have the capacity to love.  However we have not developed these fully.  Sin is in our way of doing so.  The functional aspects of these things are imperfect.  Our abilities to think and create, act morally, worship, set goals and take action, create, speak and write, and to act in love are all hampered.

As Packer says (p.20), the image of God in the human:

Is more or less achieved according to how I use my God-given capacities.  The given capacities (the image viewed formally) are powers of thought, of construction, of management of moral discernment and of relating responsively to other rational beings.  The fulfillment of the image (the image viewed substantially) consists of actual rationality, creativity, mastery of environment, righteousness and community.

Jesus shows us the only perfect Imago Dei.  His love is perfect.  His life was sinless, lived in prayerful dependence on the Father.  He was not selfish, but wholly directed towards God and towards His neighbour.  He exhibited dominion over nature, creativity, and sovereignty.

Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

9  Human Relationships

Human Beings are relationship oriented.  Our primary relationship is with God.  As Jesus said, the greatest commandment is to love God with all our strength.  Then, we have human relationships.  The second greatest commandment is to love our neighbours as we love ourselves.  We also have a relationship and responsibility to nature.  We have been given the mandate to guard, watch over, and preserve it (Genesis 1:27-28 & 2:15).  Although we seldom think about it much, we also have a relationship with the angels.  Too often we take for granted their protection over us.  And then, we have relationships with ourselves.

In secular theories these relationships are often not considered, or they are only partially considered.  As Christian counselors, part of restoring the Imago Dei in our clients is to help them work on these relationships.  Some of the Neil Anderson material is helpful in this regard.  Regarding self-image, Hoekema refers to Augustine, and Carl Rogers (p. 105).  Some people have too high a self-image:

Augustine said it long ago: pride is the root sin of man.  Apart from the grace of God, human beings tend to think of themselves as autonomous, or as a law to themselves.  Refusing to bow before God and his commandments, they wish to live as they please.  In man by nature there is no sense of dependence on God, but rather pride in his or her own achievements and exaggerated sense of self-importance.

And some people’s self-image is too low, as Carl Rogers, the well-known proponent of client-centred therapy, puts it:

The central core of difficulty in people as I have come to know them… is that in the great majority of cases they despise themselves, regard themselves as worthless and unlovable.

There is a need for “an honest awareness of both our strengths and weaknesses, so as to give us a realistic image of ourselves” (p.106).

Historically the church has emphasized the vertical relationship of the human being to God.  It is only relatively recently that the human to human relationship has been more emphasized.

10  Depravity

At the beginning of creation, when Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden, before partaking of the forbidden fruit, they had integrity in all of these relationships.  Their Imago Dei was pure, but not fully developed.  God cannot sin, but Adam and Eve were able to choose to sin.  Adam and Eve had been given a probationary command.  They chose to disobey.  Had they resisted the temptation, perhaps the fullness of Imago Dei would have been eventually developed into a sinless humanity.

Instead, what happened was that people’s hearts were darkened.  Romans 1:19-32 tells us that we are without excuse for our godlessness and wickedness.  But those who do not seek God, and refuse to honour and thank Him are given over to depravity.  Hoekema quotes from Herman Bavinck (p. 83):

Man through the fall… has not become a devil who, incapable of redemption, can no longer reveal the features of the image of God.  But while he has remained really and substantially man and has still preserved all his human faculties, capacities, and powers, the form, nature, disposition, and direction of all these powers have been so changed that now instead of doing the will of God they fulfill the law of the flesh.

As Christian counselors, how can we deal with this?  First of all, the fact that the client has come to see us shows that he or she is at least seeking some form of help.  For someone to realize and admit their need for help is the first step.  The client may not realize her need for God.  Here is where the Christian counselor must work out his own policy about how much is appropriate to say about that, and when.  This would partly depend on the agency you are working for.  If it is a government agency, it may be inappropriate to discuss spiritual matters.  However, one could always ask his client about his/her spiritual life, and refer him/her to a church for further help.

Some of the results of depravity are: the raping of nature, perverted love, vulnerability to sin, alienation from self, and misunderstanding our true identity in the Lord, and the fact that creativity is often used to promote sin.  Part of redemption is the freeing and enlightening of humanity to change from this deadly course to head in the right direction again.

11  Hope in the Future

Our hope is in the future, when our Imago Dei will become perfected.  The Bible tells us we are destined to become like Jesus (Romans 8:29), and will be presented to God without stain or blemish (Ephesians 5:27).  Hebrews 12:24 says we will join the spirits of righteous people made perfect.  And Revelation 21:3 says there will be no more death or mourning.  All of this perfection won’t happen, though before death or the rapture.  At that time our blinders will be removed, and we will no longer be enslaved to evil.  All types of relationships will be healed.  We will be made right with God.  The barriers between our human relationships will be  gone, and we will relate to one another in righteousness and love.  Our dominion will be exalted and we will reign with Him.  God will be glorified in culture.  And our broken-ness will be healed, and we will be made whole.

Regarding dominion, Hoekema say (p. 94):

Only on the new earth will that mandate be perfectly and sinlessly fulfilled.

One of the promises given to believers is that they shall some day reign with Christ (IITimothy 2:12).  In Revelation 22:5 we are even told that glorified believers will reign forever.  An in the song of redemption in the same book the point is specifically made that this reigning will take place on the earth (Revelation 5:10).

Hoekema is also of the opinion that our bodies will be restored in perfection (p. 218):

Man, then, exists in a state of psychosomatic unity.  So we were created, so we are now, and so we shall be after the resurrection of the body.  For full redemption must include the redemption of the body (Romans 8:23; I Corinthians 15:12-57), since man is not complete without the body.  The glorious future of human beings in Christ includes both the resurrection of the body and a purified, perfected new earth.

12  The Path to Healing

Meanwhile we need to continually strive toward righteousness and holiness and praise and thankfulness.  As we guide our clients in these directions, we will be guiding them on the path to healing.

At the point of conversion, justification and regeneration take place.  But sanctification is the work we need to become involved in from that point on.  It is the process of the restoration of the Imago Dei.

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit (II Corinthians 3:18).

It involves the Holy Spirit in us, filling us with joy, and giving us wisdom and power to do God’s will.  But it takes a conscious effort on our part, because holiness is not our natural bent.  It is more natural for us to despair, or take things into our own hands, than to rest in God.  Here is where, as Christian counselors, we must be faithful to remind our clients to pray about things, and to be patient for Gods answers, rather than impulsively trying to solve their problems in ways that are not God’s ways.  On the other hand, some clients are too slow to do anything, and do need to be urged on a little.  We need to remind them that the Holy Spirit will give them the wisdom and power to change as they rely on Him.

Hoekema stresses that (p. 225-6):

Counselors must also remember the fact that man is a whole person.  They should be trained to recognize problems that require the expertise of others besides themselves, and should be willing to refer their counselees, when necessary, to physicians or psychiatrists.  Mental problems should not be thought of as totally distinct from physical problems, because neither type of problem is ever separate from the other.  Since antidepressant drugs can cure certain types of depression, a wise counselor will make use of these means.  Patients who have deep-seated problems, in fact, can most effectively be healed through the combined efforts of a therapeutic team, consisting, perhaps, of a psychologist, a social worker, a physician, and a psychiatrist.

The counselor ought not to think of spiritual and mental health as somehow totally separable.  Since man is a whole person, the spiritual and the mental are aspects of a totality, so that each aspect influences and is influenced by the other.  Howard Clinebell puts it this way:

Spiritual health is an indispensable aspect of mental health.  The two can be separated only on a theoretical basis.  In live human beings, spiritual and mental health are inextricably interwoven.

Minirth and Meier agree:

Man, then, is physical, and yet man is far more than physical.  He also has psychological and spiritual dimensions, and all of these dimensions are intertwined.  Man has a comprehensive nature.  Physical disease can result in psychological symptoms, psychological stress can produce physical disease, and spiritual problems in many cases lie at the core of or are caused by physical and/or emotional conditions.

Sanctification is a lifelong process.  We strive to be the best we can be, yet, knowing that during this life on earth we will never be perfect, we must accept that, and rest In God’s grace and forgiveness.  Otherwise we would become perfectionistic nervous wrecks.  We may need to remind some clients of their justified status before God.

As Hoekema says (p. 46):

The renewal of the image of God is accomplished by faith.  [quoting from Calvin:]

Faith is the motion of man’s response to the Word by which he becomes conformable to God, that is, has Imago Dei.

That is, faith is our response to the Word of God–a response that we can make only through the working of the Holy Spirit in our hearts.

As we increase our faith and help our clients to increase theirs, we can truly help them on the road to health.

 

REFERENCES

Allender, Dl, & Longman, T., Bold Love, NavPress, Colorado Springs, 1992.

Anderson, Ray Sherman, On Being Human; Essays in theological anthropology, Eerdmans, Grand Rapids, 1982.

Anderson, Robert, Sir, Human Destiny, S. R. Briggs, Toronto, 1886.

Boer, Harry R., An Ember Still Glowing: Humankind as the image of God, Eerdmans, Grand Rapids, 1990.

Bulkley, E., Why Christians Can’t Trust Psychology, Harvest House, Eugene, 1994.

Chopp, Rebecca S., Horizons in Feminist Theology: Identity, tradition and norms, Fortress Press, Minneapolis, 1997.

Custance, Arthur C., Journey Out of Time, Doorway Publications, Brockville, Ont., 1981.

Erickson, Millard, Christian Theology, Baker Books, Grand Rapids, 1998.

Henry, Carl Ferdinand Howard, Basic Christian Doctrines, Baker Books, Grand Rapids, 1971.

Hoekema, Anthony A., Created in God’s Image, Eerdmans, Grand Rapids, 1986.

Jones, D. Gareth, Our Fragile Brains: a Christian perspective on brain research, InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, 1981.

Jones, Stanton L. & Butman, R. E., Psychotherapies: a comprehensive Christian appraisal, InterVarsity Press, Downers Grove, 1991.

Minirth, Frank B. & Meier, Paul D., Counseling and the Nature of Man, Baker Books, Grand Rapids, 1982.

Moreland, James Porter, Christian Perspectives on Being Human, Baker Books, Grand Rapids, 1993.

Niebuhr, Reinhold, The Nature and Destiny of Man: a Christian…, Scribner, New York, 1964.

Niebuhr, Reinhold, The Self and the Dramas of History, Scribner, New York, 1955.

Packer, J.I., Knowing Man, Cornerstone Books Westchester Ill., 1979.

Roberts, David Everett, Psychotherapy and a Christian View of Man, 1950.

Tozer, A. W., Man, The Dwelling Place of God, Christian Publications, Harrisburg PA, 1966.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We spent the summer downsizing.  Our home by the lake was becoming a stress factor in our lives, sadly.  My husband, who turned 75 this year, had had enough of contending with the beavers.

When we moved there in 2009 we were excited about living with wild creatures that we could watch every day from our back window.  Summer evenings a beaver or two would swim around in the lake, their triangular heads at the surface creating a V shaped ripple.  They swam fast, doing occasional somersaults and smacking their tails on the water in loud reverberation.

We could not understand how some of the neighbours around the lake could be so cruel as to set traps or even shoot at the beavers.  Once I even saw a poor beaver who was missing a paw, which he must have chewed off in order to free himself from a trap.

But after a few years we noticed that the bottom of our lot was becoming badly eroded.  On closer investigation we found that the beavers had dug a large cave under the bottom of our lot, and a hole to come up on our side of the fence.  We quickly filled in the hole before they could come up and chew down our trees.  Our next door neighbour had told us that they came home from holidays once to find that the beavers had taken down their pear tree.  I had visions of a row of beavers sitting on the pear tree log munching on pears.

Then we noticed that the water level had risen because of the beavers damming up the outflow at the end of the lake.  Sid went down there every day for months and cleared away the dams, which the beavers would re-build every night.  Finally after several calls to the city parks administration they started sending a crew to do it.

But this year a whole new problem began.  Early in the year Sid noticed that a big mudslide was being built against the bottom of the chain-link fence, reinforced with sticks stuck through it.  Every day he went down and dismantled it, and even laid down chicken wire hoping that would deter them.  Well, they seemed to think he was helping them reinforce their mud.  Pretty soon the structure was getting higher and higher.  Sid was nearly going out of his mind with frustration!

Still owing money on our house, and both of us retired, we could not imagine borrowing more money in order to build a rock wall down there.  Taking in foreign students had helped us make ends meet for the past nine years, but we had come to a point where we just wanted to simplify our lives.

We began to pray about it and look into real estate matters.  Amazingly everything worked out according to our prayers.  Thanks be to God, here we are in September now, pretty much settled in our new home.

Downsizing has not been easy!  Especially for me.  I had kept collections of school materials, teaching materials, souvenirs and household items accumulated over 64 years!  What a mix of emotions going through it all.  Floods of memories both good and bad.  It has felt cleansing to do that purge, and I still have many boxes of things to go through and eliminate more stuff.

Currently still in the stage of picture-hanging, at least we no longer have stacks of boxes obstructing the main living areas, and I finally feel that I can get back to writing!  Yay!  I even finished reading a novel yesterday.  The bursitis in my right shoulder from heavy lifting is subsiding.  Now to catch up on paying the bills for moving vans and a few pieces of furniture that we bought for our new home.

 

 

My mother passed away 20 years ago this month, on February 1st, 1998.  She was 79, one week older than Billy Graham, but he got to live 20 years longer than her.

My mother was a dear loving person.  It’s hard to put into words all that she means to me.

I was her firstborn, and she had waited long for me.  She was already 36 years old when I came along.  She had married in her late 20s, and didn’t have me until eight years later.  I felt very loved and treasured.  Maybe that’s why they named me Pearl.

Mom had a calm and steady personality.  Her moods didn’t swing up and down like mine do.  She never flew into a rage, but she never danced around the living room with  joy either.  She did sing a lot though, while she worked.  I felt the singing was often to cheer herself up.  She seemed sad underneath.  I remember her often standing over the kitchen sink washing dishes, the sun streaming through the window, as she sang ‘Count Your Blessings’.  From an early age something bothered me about it, although I was too young to understand.  I would say, “Mommy, don’t ‘ing’!”  Now I realize that her singing made me feel her sadness, and somehow I felt I may be to blame for it.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized her constant undertone of sadness was likely due to the passing away of her own mother when she was in her mid teens.  Her father married her mother’s sister after that, but my mother didn’t feel at home there anymore, with her stepmother.

As a teenager I wondered why Mom never made eye contact, or talked about things emotional.  I wonder if that might have been because she lost her own mother at that young age and consequently found it hard to make such connections.

Mom had gone to school through grade 8, which was as high as it went at that time in small-town Saskatchewan.  Later, after her father re-married, she went to a small Bible school.  She had fun times there, and told me stories of the girls in their upstairs dorm communicating with the boys in their downstairs dorm by banging on the pipes, and the girls playing pranks on the boys by giving one a bowl of mustard instead of pudding etc.  Apparently he just ate the whole bowl and didn’t say anything, causing much giggling amoungst the girls.

Unfortunately while she was at Bible school she contracted an eye disease, and had to go home and stay inside in a dark room for several months until she recovered.

After that she decided to go and work as a housemaid, first in Saskatoon and later in Moose Jaw.  She learned a lot living in these wealthy homes and became an excellent housekeeper and cook.  For a time she went to live in the Vancouver area with her family, and worked in a very good bakery in Shaughnessy, the wealthiest part of the city.  She had fun with the other girls working there, and learned some excellent baking skills.

It was back in Moose Jaw that she met my father, as he delivered blocks of ice for the ice box to the house where she worked.  The story goes that she trapped him behind the ironing board!

Growing up in an old house in south Vancouver in the fifties and early sixties, we had a peaceful life.  Mom stayed at home with us kids, giving us an invaluable sense of loving security.  She was always there in the house, or out in the yard, washing clothes in the old wringer washer, hanging them outside to dry on the clothesline, cleaning the floors on her hands and knees, growing a little garden.  Bandaging our knees when we fell, wiping away our tears, wiping our runny noses.  I loved sitting on her lap and snuggling into her softness.  Sometimes I accompanied her to visit the lady next door, and I enjoyed just sitting in the kitchen with them and listening to them talk, not really paying attention to what they were saying.  My brother must have been playing with the boys there, who were his age and younger.  Later my sister often played with the youngest one.  I sometimes played with the boys as well until I was five years old and met a girl my age who lived a few houses further up the street, who became my best friend.  Our mothers had been friends in Saskatoon when they both worked in houses there.

Mom often read to us, and prayed with us, and taught us about God and Bible stories.  As a teenager when I had doubts about God I was always amazed at her ability to answer all my questions with wisdom.

After us kids grew up and got married, she was always pleased to be with us and her grandchildren.  We often all dropped in to their house on a Sunday afternoon, and she would feed us all a light supper of buns and cheese and jam, and ice cream for dessert.

In her later years Mom began to inexplicably lose weight and lose strength.  When Dad ended up in a nursing home after a major stroke, we realized how much Mom had depended on him.  We got her into the same nursing home, and she passed away within a year.  How I still miss her!  I can hardly believe twenty years have passed already since she went.

 

I’ve started a new little volunteer job of writing weekly articles for the local Farmers’ Market. It’s interesting interviewing various vendors and writing about them and their products. So far I’ve written about a young lady who makes French pastries, a middle-aged man & wife who raise sheep, pigs and chickens and run a meat processing plant, and a middle-aged Korean man who makes traditional kimchi in the natural process he learned from his grandma.

It’s great to have a local community of cottage industries with such diversity. Here is the link to our Farmers’ Market, which is officially called the Island Roots Market Cooperative: Island Roots Market

There are lots more interesting vendors as well, and I look forward to writing about them.

My Dad would be 110 years old today. He was born in Alliston Ontario, on a family farm, the first of six children.  Being the oldest son, Dad was expected to do a lot of the farm work.  School was considered secondary. He went when he wasn’t required to work, and made it through grade three. It was enough that he learned to read and write and do arithmetic, and learned about the various countries and whatever else he needed to know to do well in life.

In his early 30s he left home and ventured out to make a life for himself. With a quarter in his pocket, he went to other farms to ask for work. He had sadly realized that if he didn’t leave home he could end up spending his life working for his father and never having a life of his own. Unfortunately his father had taken to drinking. He would get angry and mean to his mother and sisters, for example ripping the phone off the wall when he thought the women were talking too long on it. My father stayed home a long time to protect his mother, but finally decided that if he ever wanted to get a wife of his own he had better get out of there.

Eventually he made his way to Saskatchewan, where he got a job in Moose Jaw delivering blocks of ice to homes for their ice boxes. It was there that he met my mother.

She was working as a maid in one of the homes on Dad’s route. She used to tell the story, jokingly, that she trapped him behind the ironing board!

They were both Christians, and started trying different churches together, eventually settling on the Christian and Missionary Alliance. They got married outside in a park. Dad had ordered sandwiches and ice cream, and some of Mom’s relatives made the cake, bringing it all the way from Herbert in the car on bumpy roads. A wonderful time was had by all!

Eight years later I was born, when Dad was turning 47. Mom was 11 years younger than him. By this time my parents had moved to Vancouver, and Dad had started his own business as a roofer. He liked the name “Stanley”, and called his business “Stanley Roofing”, later naming my brother Stanley.

Dad had chosen a good business for Vancouver, where much rain makes for many roof repairs and replacements! He was kept very busy, but always took Sundays off, and a week or two or more for a family holiday in the summer. Every second summer he drove us to Saskatchewan to visit my mother’s relatives who lived in and around the little town of Herbert. Dad loved to go at harvest time and pitch in with the farm work with my uncles.

Twice he took us all to Ontario to visit his relatives. Sadly his mother had died before I was born, so I never got to meet her. The first time we went it was winter, and we traveled by train. I was three and my brother was one, just old enough to get into a bit of mischief! We had found chocolate, a rare treat, in Mom’s purse. Little did we know it was actually exlax! Then we got so thirsty and kept going to the water cooler for many paper cups of cold water!

A highlight of that trip for me was getting snowed in at Aunt Mossy and uncle Wilfred’s farm and after several days, being taken out of this remote area by horse and sleigh.

My sister, who was 5 1/2 years younger than me, was always good and never got into mischief. I think she was my dad’s favourite.

We had a happy family life. My father bought a new house in South Vancouver when I was eight. He continued to work as a roofer until he was 68. Twice he had fallen and broken ribs.

At the age of 89, he had been outside shoveling snow for the next door neighbours as well as their own, when he came in to the kitchen and collapsed on the floor. He had suffered a major stroke. It caused him to lose all his memory and ability to speak, other than a few words. However, his cheerful spirit was still there! For the next five years the two phrases he kept repeating were, “Apple pie!” and “Rejoice and rejoice!”

After Dad was moved into a nursing home we realized that Mom had become quite weak. We hadn’t realized how much Dad had been caring for her. She was able to get into the same nursing home, and she died a year later.

Dad lived on to the age of 94. He’s been gone for over 15 years now. What a wonderful father he was!

Christmas is coming.  Hallowe’en is over; about 60 trick-or-treaters knocked on our door.  It was fun!  Our two Japanese homestay students took turns answering the door and giving out the candy.  Their glowing jack-o-lanterns welcomed the kids to the porch.

Here in Nanaimo we have had a long beautiful fall, with yellow and red leaves lasting on the trees for two months now.  But today there was lots of snow mixed in with the rain, and leaves mixed in with it blowing around in the yard.  Nice to be inside looking out!

When I was young, in the 50s and 60s, at this time of year I used to pour through the Sears Christmas Catalogue, a long-time Canadian tradition for many.  I loved to choose my favourite doll to wish for, for Christmas.  Then my mother would take me downtown window shopping in the department stores.  There was Simpsons Sears, Eaton’s, Woodward’s, and The Bay.  We looked at the big display windows with animated toys and animals and Christmas scenes.  So magical!  Then we went upstairs to the big toy floor at Eaton’s.  I got to sit on Santa’s knee and tell him what I wanted for Christmas, and he gave me a candy cane.  We looked at the animated displays, and mom let me look at the toys and dolls and tell her which ones I liked the best.  We didn’t buy anything that day, but later she would go back and try to get something I liked to surprise me with on Christmas morning.

Nowadays those big old department stores are all closing down.  Nanaimo has Sears and The Bay, but Sears is currently in the process of selling everything off in order to close for good.  The end of an era.

The new way is to shop online, and have the goods delivered to your door.  A bit like going back to the old Sears catalogue, except instead of holding a book and flipping through pages, we scroll on the internet.

Amazon seems to be the new Sears.  I have decided I might as well go with the flow, and get in on the new ways.  I always thought it would be fun to have my own little gift shop, and now I actually can do that online.  I can find items that I would like to carry in my shop, which I think my readers might like to buy, and set up a link to that item on Amazon.  A virtual store!  I hope you will like it!  Try the link below for starters.

Click Here!  http://amzn.to/2FNihup

 

This summer I had two surgeries. First in July a couple of suspicious areas were removed and a D & C was done. They discovered that I had the beginnings of endometrial cancer, so I had to go back to the hospital for a hysterectomy in August. Just when I was starting to recover from the first surgery! It is now two months since the second surgery and I do feel pretty much mended up, although the laporoscopic scars are still red and itchy. . .

I returned to my part time job a few weeks ago because I was feeling pretty good and the Pregnancy Centre where I work is chronically short staffed. The gynecologist had told me that most people don’t go back to work for two months. It didn’t seem like the work was too much for me but perhaps I shouldn’t have pushed myself because last week I came down with a bladder infection, and now I’ve come down with a bad cold 😤. Agh! I’ve been on the mend for months now!

However I made good use of my time at home by completing an online course through the University of Tazmania, called Understanding Dementia. A free MOOC program available to anyone interested, it covered the basics of what dementia really is, who is affected by it, the symptoms and general prognosis, how to best handle it in a loved one, and treatment options. It was a very thorough course lasting from July to October, several hours a week. There is the option to continue with further courses once satisfactorily completing this one. It would be a great program for anyone interested in working with the elderly. I loved the flexibility of working online at my own pace, and the course was made appealing to visual and auditory learners by sketches and interviews. This free introductory course will be offered again in 2018. I would recommend it for anyone who has aging family members or friends! Glad to be finished it now though, and back to my own writing.

Our patio overlooking a small lake is my favourite quiet place to relax and contemplate life, and remember all the other favourite places I have been to.  What makes a favourite place to me is usually the memories of the people I was with in those places.

One of my favourite cities is Hong Kong, because I have happy memories of spending time there with my oldest son.  It’s wonderful to have an adult son who takes you all around, showing you his favourite places!

Another favourite city is Vancouver, because it is my home town.  It has grown and changed greatly over the years, but still gives me a feeling of home.  The blue mountains, blue sky (when it’s not raining), and sandy beaches are some of my favourite features of Vancouver.

What are some of your favourite places?  Let me know in the reply section below.